国庆节相亲碰到这8种人,一定要果断放弃!

中国日报双语新闻 2018-10-3 2127

每逢佳节被相亲。这个国庆节你相亲了吗?

面对形形色色的相亲对象,又没有火眼金睛,要如何分辨谁才适合你呢?

来听听国外婚恋机构Platinum Poire创始人罗瑞·萨孙(Rori Sassoon的意见吧。

她认为,初次约会有以下8种表现的人,条件再好也不要陷进去。

They"re very late. 

迟到很长时间


    Issues with traffic or public transportation are inevitable for most people, so tardiness isn"t always a red flag.

    谁都难免有碰上交通拥堵的时候,所以初次约会迟到也不一定说明对方不好。

    But if your date is more than a few minutes late — and doesn"t seem to care that you"ve been waiting for a lengthy period of time — consider that a first strike.

    但如果你的相亲对象迟到的时间不止是几分钟,而且似乎也不在意让你等了那么久,那这就是第一个警告。

    They"re too pushy.

    太猴急


    Your date may try to convince you that they deserve to be invited back to your place because they bought you a drink or spent some time with you.

    你的相亲对象可能试图说服你,让你邀请他去你家,就因为他请你喝了一杯或和你共度了一段时光。

    "If they"re insisting on inviting you to their place, or pushing to go over to yours, that"s a bad sign," Rori Sassoon, founder of Platinum Poire matchmaking service, told Insider. "They don"t need to know where you live right now."

    婚恋机构Platinum Poire创始人罗瑞·萨孙告诉Insider网站说:“如果对方坚持要邀请你去他家,或者执意要去你家,这就不妙了。初次约会的对象不需要知道你住在哪儿。”

    They get too personal too fast.

    太早谈论私人问题


    There"s nothing wrong with opening up to someone new, but it shouldn"t all come out at once.

    向新认识的人吐露心声没有错,但不应该一下子把什么都说出来。

    "When people start telling you stuff that is really personal really quickly, it displays a kind of neediness and clinginess that shows they"re just going to use you as a vehicle for unloading for the relationship," Sassoon said.

    萨孙说:“如果对方很快就告诉你一些很私密的事情,这说明他们很黏人缺乏独立性,和你交往只是为了倾诉和发泄。

    "It"s all about them, they don"t ask a question, they don"t really care, they just want to vomit about their whole entire life."

    “他们只会谈论自己,不会问关于你的问题,他们并不真正在乎你,只是想吐苦水。”

    Basically, if a first date feels like a therapy session — one in which you have unwittingly become the therapist — get out ASAP.

    如果初次约会让你感觉像在给对方做心理治疗,自己无意间就成了心理咨询师,那就应尽快抽身离去。

    They make the date feel like a job interview.

    把相亲搞得像求职面试

    On the other hand, you don"t want the date to feel like a job interview.

    另一方面,你也不希望初次约会搞得像求职面试吧。

    You don"t automatically need to eliminate a potential partner if they"re overly inquisitive — some people might ask a lot of questions when they get nervous, or they could genuinely be fascinated by you — but it"s worth asking them some questions too, just to see if they open up about themselves or just go back to questioning you.

    如果他们太喜欢打听你的一切,你也不一定要将此人拉黑。有些人一紧张就会问很多问题,也有可能是真的被你迷住了。不过你也可以问对方一些问题,看对方是坦然相告,还是继续审问你。


    They can"t seem to plan anything. 

    从不做任何计划

    If they refuse to take accountability for any part of a date — a time to meet, a bar to get drinks, or even what drinks you get — that"s not a great sign, either.

    如果对方不愿主动安排任何约会活动,包括定下约会时间、约会酒吧,甚至连饮品也懒得点,这可不是个好兆头。

    They"re hot and cold. 

    情绪多变

    Be wary of a person who shows up to a first date and seems happy one moment and decidedly not the next — and for no apparent reason.

    上一秒还很开心,但下一秒却莫名其妙地不开心了,初次约会要警惕这种人。

    Being moody doesn"t mean someone is a bad person. But if their behavior during an hour-long date is sporadic enough to make you feel on edge, they may not be ready for a relationship.

    喜怒无常不意味着这个人不好。但如果在一个小时的约会过程中对方的情绪多变让你如坐针毡,那么这种人也许还没准备好谈一段恋爱。

    There are a number of things that might explain their behavior — like a fresh breakup or trouble at work — but trying to pursue a relationship with them could be a thankless task for you.

    这种喜怒无常可能有很多原因——比如刚刚分手或工作中遇到了麻烦——但和这样的人谈恋爱会吃力不讨好。

    They"re too confrontational.

    咄咄逼人

    When you go on a date, it"s possible that politics, religion, and other taboo topics may come up. But if a healthy debate turns into a one-sided screaming match, it"s probably safe to cut your losses with this particular person.

    初次约会时可能会谈及政治、宗教和其他禁忌话题。但如果一场有益的讨论变成了一方的尖锐争论,那么最好还是和对方断交,及时止损。

    "It"s OK to agree to disagree on some things," Sassoon said. "But not everyone gets that, and if they make it clear on a first date, get out."

    萨孙说:“人与人之间是可以求同存异的。不是每个人都懂得这个道理,如果第一次约会对方就非要争个是非黑白,那还是就此别过吧。”

    They"re inconsistent.

    线上线下态度不同

    One red flag may show up before a first date even happens — an ability (or lack thereof) to actually commit to a day and time to meet.

    还有一个值得警惕的信号可能在初次约会前就已显现了,即对方是否愿意约定一天或某个时间见面。

    This is especially vital to think about when it comes to online dating. 

    这条尤其值得网上交友的朋友们注意。

    "If you want to meet someone, you"ll give them a few times that work for you," Sassoon said. "If they can"t give you a clear answer in response, it"s clear you aren"t a priority."

    萨孙说:“如果你想见对方,你可以给他们几个适合自己的时间作为选择,如果对方无法明确回复你见面时间,很显然,你不是他们优先考虑的对象。”

    So, if you"ve been messaging someone for a while without planning a date, ask them straight-up if they"d like to grab coffee. If they waffle, don"t keep hassling them. They"ll let you know when (and if) they actually want to meet up.

    所以,如果你和某人在线聊了一阵了,却没有见面的计划,不如直截了当地问对方,想不想一起喝杯咖啡。如果他们含糊其辞,那就别再和他们多费口舌了。如果对方真想见你,他们会告诉你的。

    If that doesn"t happen, move on to someone else.

    如果对方一直不提见面,那就果断放弃,找下一个吧。

    你在相亲中有过哪些奇葩经历,欢迎吐槽分享。

    编辑:陈丹妮 左卓

    英文来源:Insider

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